Fights are
never easy, and honestly, no one ever wins. Someone always ends up getting hurt
while the other person is chalked up to being the bad guy. With medical school in the mix, fights become
ten times harder, and honestly can cause more damage.
For us,
time is often the topic we argue about most. Time needed for work, wanting more
time together, and not to mention the time wasted fighting. We say things we don’t
mean when we fight, we love hard and fight hard, we use words that cut deep,
but in the end, we know that we will help each other through it.
I mentioned
before how valuable time is for a med student. They need time to go over
lectures, time to study them, and time to repeat the process to assure they
have it down. For the significant others, we sometimes suffer. I knew when I moved down here, and that when
school started that I would have less time with him. However, I suppose I didn't know exactly what else I would lose.
Time for me is spent at work from 8-6. I come home, make dinner, clean the kitchen, tidy up the house, shower, and then go to bed. We spend about an hour together for dinner. I love that time together. We get to watch one of our favorite shows recorded on the DVR, and be together. However, sometimes I want more than the every night routine we have. I’m not ready for us to be an old married couple without being old or married……
Sure we sit
together on the couch and he holds my hand or gives me a quick peck, but where
is passion we used to have? For me it’s not quantity, its quality. “I
don’t need an hour with you, but I want to make the most out of the 20 minutes
that we have.” I miss when I would be doing dishes, and he would randomly
come out and somehow we would end up in a water fight. I miss when we would
take 20 minutes to passionately make out like we were teenagers again, (Sorry for the TMI, but hey we all do it.)
I do understand HOW MUCH work he has on his plate. I also understand that when
he gets a break, he simple wants to relax and let his brain rot.
Sometimes I
am a little ballsy and will dare to complain. “Why don’t you do lovey things anymore?” or “You aren't being affectionate anymore, and it’s not fair” those are
some of the common contenders. However, when I say these things they almost
make things worse. He feels like he is doing everything he can, and because I
have brought it up, “it makes him not
want to do anything.”
That can hurt.
